OPEN LETTER TO NARAYANA MAHARAJA
08 July 1999, by Gaurahari dasa
08 July 1999, by Gaurahari dasa
Dear Narayana Maharaja,
There is no reason for me to use Vaisnava etiquette with you because you are not even a true Vaisnava by your duplicitous harmful behavior which has devastated my relationship with my wife and dear disciples. You are acting like an insensitive devil for initiating my wife Premanidhi dasi without me her husband and Guru. You knew I was having reservations about taking initiation after only knowing you for one week.
Our wonderful marriage and Guru disciple relationship has been shattered by your irresponsible action and my wife's naive sentimental approach to you for initiation. My wife and I are both suffering intense emotional trauma now because of your hasty inappropriate and insensitive actions. You took advantage of my wife's sentiments without carefully evaluating our situation. What bonafied Guru does such things? I have already heard that two other marriages have been destroyed because of your initiating the female spouse, one of which I know for sure was against the husbands wishes. You are acting like a duplicitous ego maniac, masquerading as a symbol of humility. I got your number now loud and clear! Krishna has been sending me so many reports of your preaching that is actually offensive to Srila Prabhupada, but you dare call him your friend. Well that may have been true years ago but people can change if they get off track.
My wife also changed from being a very close loving, friend, wife and disciple into one of your nefarious fanatical extensions trying to help you take over the world of Srila Prabhupada's devotees. How duplicitous you are showing yourself to be. You are so proud to allude to being an elevated Mahabagavata Manjari, but by your duplicitous insensitive behavior and how you devastate the lives of others, you act like a ignorant worm.
In your own words which confirm directly that this is true, on the occasion Visvarupa Mahosoava-Sept 1994 in a conversation with Giraraja Maharaja from a unedited transcribed of a lecture of yours you said, "Your Srila Prabhupada is paliya dasi of Srimati Radhika, but I am paliya dasi of Kamsa." By your behavior I accept this statement of yours to be a sign from Krishna about your true hidden nature. People think that demons always have to appear to be physically ugly looking creatures, but according to the experience of Hanuman when he met Ravana he appeared so beautiful and handsome that Hanuman thought that he should be a very great soul. Only until he began to analize Ravana's deeper true nature beyond the externals could he perceive the real truth. Well you look very good on the surface and in my personal, experience now I know just what is lurking underneath that skin and devotee uniform you are wearing. Even the fallen angel Lucifer in the bible is said to be able to disguise himself as an angel of light. I have analyzed the impact of your shakti, duplicitous character, and qualities, enough to place you as a very confidential servant of such a being that you yourself stated that you represent.
When some good sense appeared in my own mind to leave that bewildering festival at Badger and I did not show up for the initiation ceremony, you toyed so coily with my wife. You said duplicitously that you could not initiate her without me, knowing well her sentimental fanatical mentality at the time and knowing exactly the betraying words for her Guru and husband she would now express. She begged you like a trained dog you were guiding through a hoop to stroke your huge but hidden false ego, "Gurudeva I don't care about my husband, (and indirectly she also meant her previous Guru), just initiate me"!
You actually loved that you could gain such control over her so quickly. Well it takes two to play this game of the cheaters and the cheated. My wife was a participant and is not just an unwilling victim. I also almost fell for this powerful trickery of the illusory potency by being in touch with this mind and emotionally bewildering shakti you emanate. It imitates very cleverly the real bhakti lata creeper of devotion, by showing the illusory mirror image of it to those who desire to jump ahead of where they should actually be situated in there spiritual life. Then they enter the world of "false replicas" of Vaisnavas, Radha and Krishna, but in name only. No pure genuine spiritual rasa can be experienced. Only material, sentimental tears flow from this fountain of bewilderment.
You have your place in this world, and service to Krishna. You represent the last mirror image which hides and or tramples upon the genuine bhakti lata bija if one actually has it sown with one's heart. Who ever sees you, the subtle false ego layer you really represent, passes a very formidable subtle test from Krishna. A weakened devotee of God who surrenders to you automatically becomes initiated into the act of betrayal of the true spirit of God. I know this personally because I also succumbed to denying the genuine truth of the spirit of devotion by succumbing to this bewildering shakti energy of yours which is now channeled powerfully through my wife. You knew if my wife came back to me I would be affected and quite possibly become your convert. I also experienced this false realm of the subtle sensuous sentimental world that masquerades as pure love. An illusory world that is not built on the solid foundation of Vaisnava truth but on the contrary, that world of truth has to be dismantled and destroyed if it exists in order for one to enter into the illusory realm you dwell in.
Truth and falsehood cannot coexist in this realm that on surface seems like a honey filled paradise of love, but is actually a pit of poison. To enter this realm I had to deny and surrender every God given true experience of genuine devotion I was gifted with, by the grace of my real Gurus Christ and Srila Prabhupada. When I experienced this shakti induced realm of bewilderment you give others so easily and freely, I was more than willing to shut out completely all my previous connections and relationships in the past, even the spiritual relationships I had carefully cultivated for many years. This is the nature and style of this shakti of yours and why I know it is a false reality.
Receiving the genuine bhakti creeper of devotion from a genuine Guru like Srila Prabhupada has a very different and truly purifying effect. I just heard from an old friend and dedicated Prabhupada disciple that several of his old friends had their personalities radically altered after surrendering to you and your shakti. So much so that he could not relate to them anymore. He felt this was very suspicious. If you would truly know who you are and who you really represent it would probably be too much for you to bear and you might hang yourself like Judas did when he realized that he was actually a betrayer of Christ. He also did not know that he represented the shakti energy of betrayal. He thought he was more intelligent than Christ and was helping Jesus in his mission. Well, he did indirectly and became one of the most infamous men in the history of the world. You, also are playing such a part by claiming to be helping Srila Prabhupada, but in truth you are destroying his work and the work of those who honestly represent him. Just like Judas, who was blinded by the intellectual prowess of over developed intellects and cunning behavior, you only appear to be a true Vaisnava but you are Vaisnava in name only.
You cannot personally demonstrate relishing the intimate spiritual rasa that you claim to represent. Your material sentimental shakti does not impress me anymore. In verse 138 of Sri Caitanya Candramrta, Srila Prabodhananda Sarasvati explained the type of devotional service that you are clearly performing as quote "and somewhere the splendid path of pure devotional service is performed in name only. Oh Lord Caitanya where have you gone? I do not anywhere see the path of pure devotional service." Just what is the type of pure devotional service that Lord Chaitanya performed? When he spoke or heard about the name, beautiful form, and melodious pastimes of Radha and Krishna his heart melted like butter and his voice choked with sincere and powerful waves of the most elevated of pure emotional ecstasy. This is the real fruit of pure devotional service the Supreme Lord desires to sow within this world. Those who were and are fortunate to attain even a small portion of this fruit become eternally liberated. You, having immense intellectual knowledge of rasa, is very different than gaining the rare capacity, by the mercy of Lord Caitanya, to relish rasa. Remember the story of the illiterate Brahmin who was considered by Lord Caitanya to be the true authority on Bhagavad-Gita, simply because he cried when he relished Krishna's 'picture of humility' of lovingly serving Arjuna as his charioteer?
At the airport after my wife's initiation she approached you. With a false bewildering show of humility you gave my wife an instruction to go back and humbly serve her husband. You said, "if he is too furious then wait a little." You new I would be outraged by your behavior of initiating my wife without I her husband, and Guru's permission, because you have done this before. You appear to enjoy sticking in the severely emotionally abusive knife of breaking the sacred bonds of another Guru disciple and marriage relationship that creates chaos and turmoil for them, all in the name of getting them detached, and gaining power for your own self, which in truth is an insensitive act of ripping their sacred bonds apart. How impersonal, and an action of false renunciation. What God has truly joined, let no man put asunder. We had a wonderful marriage and Guru disciple relationship. What an opportunity for you it was to destroy all that with one sharp blow. I and my wife have been experiencing the worst emotional trauma and agony because of your participation in serving her sentimental whim of surrendering her life to a man, Guru she hardly knows. How unvaisnava of you and her.
Being at your festival in Badger was one bewildering experience. I got bewildered by the very special kind of pressure and denigration of one's character that was going on there. After only a few days association with you and your shakti, my own wife began to claim that I her Guru and husband was envious of you because I had some doubts about you. She temporarily convinced me and I went into a confused bewildered state of emotional turmoil which was facilitated by the energy of your sanga of devotees.
You destroyed the faith of my two disciples in their previous Guru who were blessed with genuine devotion for God. You did it in a very sneaky, insidious and covert way. They told you I left the festival and You turned around to them and said five devastating words "his mind is not fixed"! The subtle hidden message to them was, "your guru is not qualified and is less than a neophyte. It is better that you come to me." What Vaisnava who is following the true Bhakti path should fix his mind on you without properly evaluating you for a sufficient time, which should be more than a week. My mind not being fixed on you so prematurely was actually a sign of intelligence, and my two foolish disciples leaving there Guru they both loved deeply and fixing their mind on you as their eternal Guru, was a sign of prematurely and sentimentally jumping blindly into initiation.
Return my wife to me you devil in devotee disguise! Tell her the truth, that you made a mistake by not spending enough time assessing her as a prospective disciple and that she jumped the gun, and acted from the sentimental platform by renouncing me as her Guru before she could really understand if you are actually qualified and a step up from where she was. One week was not enough for her who doesn't sufficiently know your philosophy and teachings, to adequately determine your actual devotional position. Her decision was largely based on the propaganda professed by your sanga of devotees that you are a Mahabhagavat intimate associate of Lord Caitanya, as well as some sentimental, emotional feelings that she was incapable of properly discerning in such a short time. If you have the genuine pure bhakti creeper and you have actually given this to my wife then her behavior would reflect it. She and Nitynananda would have been grateful for the wonderful foundation they had gotten from their previous Guru. But, no, they turned on him considering that he was in Maya. Well If they got genuine bhakti in the sanga at Temple of the Heart and you are giving them more of it then it would reflect in their attitude. I say you are not dispensing the real Bhakti creeper because the effect does not build on one's previous foundation of the genuine creeper of devotion. On the contrary, your twisted, slippery teachings destroy a person's faith in one's previous foundation of true bhakti. I have heard reports from responsible sources how you have destroyed the faith of some disciples in their Guru, considered to be in good standing, in order to greedily get them for yourself. To me your magnanimity and humility is all a show! You want worship and even if you get the whole world to worship you it will not be enough to satisfy your insatiable appetite! That is why you freely initiate so many people even after hardly knowing them or their background. I know of one person you recently initiated as a Brahmin and he has just previously been arrested as a sex offender and smokes pot regularly. How shameful you are for acting like a cheap guru amassing cheap disciples so that you can pollute by prematurely teaching them the most confidential aspects of Radha and Krishna's pastimes.
You are acting like the Pharisees in the days of Jesus Christ, who he said were so mischievous, and duplicitous. They were misleading the innocent by claiming they were the proper doorways to God, by twisting their minds with their unauthorized speculative philosophy. Jesus said to such true heretics, "You cannot go into the Kingdom of God nor do you let others enter who follow your misguided teachings." Why do I so boldly say that you fit into this category? Well, you have mislead my two disciples from the sanga of Temple of the Heart, by destroying their faith in their Guru. At Temple of the Heart they both received so much genuine awakening and watering of the devotional creeper. You have given them so generously a shakti that imitates the real Bhakti creeper, but this creeper is impure because it is still material and full of pride, and envy of true Vaisnavas. Premanidhi and Nityanda are proof of this. They are now so advanced that they have the attitude that they are more spiritually elevated than their previous Guru, this is the effect and true nature of the shakti you dispense. It makes one envious of the true bhakti lata bija and the dispenser of it.
I wonder if you are not too proud now to admit that you actually do not know your own true devotional position, that you make mistakes, and you confuse and mislead people. In my book you are lower than a neophyte because you have taken a very high position and are very good at screwing up devotees' lives!
Your real friend,